What does EOTU stand for? Well, that’s always a tough question to ask us because, as many of you have found out through the years, our answer is ‘we don’t stand for much’.

But seriously, well, as seriously as we are ever able to be, there has developed much concern about what letters in the acronym EOTU represent.  And the honest answer is nothing. EOTU has no meaning. We made it up ‘cause that’s what we do. Make things up. We call it fiction.

And from the very first issue of the EOTU paper zine, we’ve had fun with it. In our premiere issue, “Storm Clouds”, we created a series of dictionary definitions with etymologies that made perfect sense but were, ha ha, all fiction.

And we believe it’s time to have fun with the EOTU name again.

Announcing the “WHAT DOES EOTU STAND FOR?” contest. Here’s how it works.

1) You create a meaning for the EOTU acronym. For example, “Everyone Ogles Turqoise Underwear”. Okay, that one sucked. How about “Eating Oranges Takes Uberwork”. Well, you get the idea.

2) Email your idea to us at or Please put the word ‘contest’ somewhere in subject line so we don’t delete your entry as spam. If you want to send an entry along as a note when you send a submission that’s okay. Actually we don’t care how you get it to us. Heck, try telepathy. But be aware we aren’t going to be responsible for any that get lost during its journey here. Also, it’s okay to send several ideas in each email. Send one or a hundred, we don’t care.

3) We will pick the one we like best. There are no criteria. It’s entirely subjective. Dirty nasty. Cute sweet. Funny or serious. Who knows what mood we’ll be in the day we decide. Oh, and sending bribes and stuff is okay, but it won’t make a difference. Really. But if you do insist on going the bribe route your editor drinks single malt scotch.

4) Your entry must reach us by midnight March 1, 2004. The winner will be announced in the April 2004 issue of EOTU Ezine.

5) WHAT YOU WIN. $25. (We wish it could be more but in spite of what EOTU Editor Larry Dennis says in his interview with Rebekka Twaintoing, small press publishing is not a money making proposition). You also will be allowed to select the theme for our August 2004 issue (subject to us saying ‘no’ if we think the idea stinks, and subject to EOTU Ezine staying in business that long). And if you are a writer, artist or poet we will publish a piece of your work in the August Issue (provided it meets our minimum standards, which if you’ve ever actually read the zine you know are really minimum).

6) That’s about it. We do reserve the right to pretend the winning entry is the real meaning of EOTU whenever we want. Also, when we announce the winner we do plan to print several of the runners-up, cause they’re bound to be funny and creative and we’re sure you’d like to share your idea with everyone. If you have a problem sharing don’t bother sending anything.

7) Okay, that’s it fer sure this time. Probably. We know we’re missing something since this is the first time we’ve held a contest, but what the heck. It’s all for fun anyway.

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