(Clam City News ed. note: As has become apparent through the years of EOTU Ezine and EOTU paper zine before that, EOTU Editor Dennis can't resist this sort of story.)
Deep in a secluded valley lived four Sages. Sage Rax was a master of arcane knowledge. Sage Rosemary, wise in herbal lore, was the personal physician to Lord Parsli himself. Even young Sage Ronald was known for his skill with languages. Still, Sage Burrowsfaire outshone them all. He seemed to know everything, and the others were bitterly jealous of him.
In order to be fitting vessels for wisdom beyond that of ordinary mortals, the Sages had to be in perfect health. All four kept themselves strong and unblemished, that they might someday be found worthy of Ultimate Knowledge.
The younger Sages grew increasingly envious of Sage Burrowsfaire. One day, they concocted a plot. Sage Rosemary would brew a sleeping potion. Sage Ronald would bring it to Burrowsfaire. While Burrowsfaire slept, Sage Rax would slash his cheek, leaving a disfiguring wound that would drain his power.
Weeks went by. Sage Rosemary’s duties to her patron kept her away from the Valley, so she had no chance to brew the potion.
At last, Rosemary returned. Trembling with eagerness, Sage Ronald came to Sage Rax in his study, and whispered:
“Are you going to scar Burrowsfaire? Parsli’s Sage, Rosemary, has time!”