An Attempt to Interview
EOTU Ezine Editor Larry Dennis
About His Shirking Working

by Ace Reporter
Rebekka Twaintoing

I have been sent undercover to the EOTU Building, home of the EOTU Empire, in an attempt to catch EOTU Editor Larry Dennis shirking his work.

In a recent news release sent to the editors of The Clam City News, the amount of submissions of fiction, poetry and art to the horror issue of EOTU Ezine was staggering, to the point that Dennis was late getting the issue on-line.

We find it difficult to believe that there was that much interest in a horror issue and certainly we find it difficult to believe that there is any interest at all in EOTU Ezine. Still, being the crack investigational reporters we are, we at the Clam City News have determined to get past the security surrounding editor Dennis and ask him ourselves if the news release sent out by his people is true.

I have disguised myself as an exotic dog groomer and will try to make it past the security guards at the front desk of the EOTU Building.

GUARD ONE:  Excuse me, Miss.  Miss?


GO:  Yes, you. Are you lost. May we help you?

GUARD TWO:  What are those dogs you have there?

CCN:  Oh, my. Yes. The dogs. Well, you see, I'm going up to see Mr. Dennis and return his dogs to him.

GO:  Do you have an appointment?

GT:  Dennis has dogs?

CCN:  I don't have an appointment with Mr. Dennis, he has an appointment with me.

GO:  With you?

CCN:  Yes, my name is Conchita Flores and I am Mr. Dennis' personal dog groomer.

GT:  So those are Dennis' dogs!

CCN:  Yes, they are. Fifi and Fufu.

GT:  What kind of dogs are they?

CCN:  Poodles. They are standard poodles.

GT:  I don't know Leroy. What do you think?  Don't those dogs look kind of odd?

GO:  Odd?

GT:  Well, you know. Orange. Don't they look kind of orange?

GO:  Now that you mention it, they do?

CCN:  Oh, orange! Ha, ha, ha. That's because it's Halloween.

GT:  Halloween?

CCN:  Yes. You know. Halloween. Goblins and ghosts and, uh, pumpkins.

GO:  Dennis had you paint his dogs to look like pumpkins for Halloween?

And at this point in time, since Guard One had earlier pressed a silent alarm, Clam City Sheriff Van Driver and his deputy arrived to arrest me. As I was led away in handcuffs I heard Guard One telling the Sheriff, "Oh, we recognized her right off. Knew right away she was Rebekka Twaintoing from The Clam City News."

I wrenched myself free from the grip of the deputy and shooted across the lobby, "How? How could you know. I am in a perfect disguise!"

And Guard One replied, "You're wearing your press pass, right there on the lapel of your coat!"

So, reporting from the back of the squad car of the Clam City Police, this is Rebekka Twaintoing, Ace Reporter for The Clam City News.

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